A Light Touch

by Bill Ireland

In a previous post I alluded to my experience as a private pilot. I learned to fly the real thing when I was quite young; now, in my later years, I fly radio-controlled aircraft. Despite the difference in scale, I still get the same thrill.

One thing I learned about flying the real thing or a model is that a light touch makes for good flying. Airplane movies show us actors making exaggerated movements, violently turning the wheel this way or that or shoving the stick backward or forward. Such actions lend dramatic effect, communicating a sense of urgency and danger. In reality, however, a white-knuckled death grip on the controls isn’t necessary to fly straight and level and perform basic maneuvers. In fact, if we hold on too tightly, we won’t fly smoothly and are likely to overreact. Good pilots know the importance of loosening the grip and using a light touch.

I have a suspicion that when trouble or conflict shows up in our congregations, our first instinct is to grab the nearest lever and yank it as hard as we can in an effort to get things under control. We panic and overreact, thus adding our anxiety into the mix. In our effort to get things back to normal, we can overcompensate, tightening the spin. Most of us have learned firsthand the importance of a “non-anxious” presence in pastoral leadership. Our goal, when everything is seemingly coming unglued, is to project a measure of calm. If we employ a light touch, we may find it easier to get back on course.

Humor certainly plays a part in this. Lots of things we face are indeed serious and require serious and thoughtful action. But if all our congregation sees that we are over the top serious, they will likely become fearful. Finding something to laugh at, even in the midst of the worse kind of stuff, can lighten the mood and lower the temperature. In Super Bowl XXIII, the 49’ers were down to the Bengals with about four minutes left in the game. As Joe Montana and his teammates huddled up to begin their final drive, Montana noticed that one of his offensive linemen was so uptight and tense he was almost out of control. Montana singled him out and said, “Look down there in the end zone. There’s John Candy!” (for the uninitiated, John Candy was a well-known actor and comedian). The lineman looked up, saw John Candy in the stands and immediately relaxed. That light-hearted moment broke the tension, and the team went on to win the game. A light touch means that while we take the situations confronting us seriously, we don’t take ourselves too seriously. We can loosen our grip on the situation by finding something that lowers the stakes in the situation. As a result, the tension eases, and we can find a way forward.

As well, it is essential for us to remember the church belongs to God, not to us. For many of us, our sense of call is born of a desire to help others, especially those in trouble. If we do that often enough, we can help... whether it’s walking with a family through a time of grief and loss, listening carefully as someone unburdens his or her soul, or seeing to it that a hungry person gets enough to eat—all those things satisfy something deep within. If we do that too often, though, we will blur our job description and take on too much responsibility. As a result, when our congregation becomes distressed, we immediately conclude it’s our job to fix things. If we don’t act and fix the problem, things will fall apart completely. Tightening our grip on the church in this manner winds up wearing us out and making its challenges all about us. If, however, we can loosen our grip and can separate our fate from the fate of the church, we will make room for the Spirit. Most of us need a wake-up call every now and then, one that reminds us that the church already has a savior and it's not us.