Friends

by Peggy Haymes, Pinnacle Associate

As I was walking up the steps in the education building a little girl was walking down the steps with her dad. She spied a friend coming down the hallway.

The two girls enthusiastically waved at each other, with the one in the hallway showing off a paper heart. “I made it for my family!” she said, proud and excited all at once.

Friends.

A group of women gather for lunch most Sundays after worship, catching up on their lives and solving the problems of the community and the world. They represent all variations of being single and they all look forward to this time together.

Friends.

Leading high school youth on Sunday mornings, I know which guys are good friends and even best friends. They sit together every week, sharing jokes and commentary.

Friends.

The group didn't all know each other when they started. Franklin Baptist Church (Franklin, VA) was leading a Navigating GriefLand group in a local retirement community. Some came from the church, some came from the retirement community, and some from the local community. They finished the group and the holidays came and went. And then they got together on their own after the holidays, bringing pictures of their loved ones to share.

Friends forged in grief. 

Loneliness is now one of our greatest health challenges and it's not just for the elderly. As a therapist, I’ve had more than one young adult in my office lamenting their lack of connections and wondering how to meet people who may become friends. 

As churches, we have a great opportunity to address this epidemic. Not because we’ve decided it’s the best marketing tool to get people into our church but because there is a need. The potential to nurture friendships happens as we work side by side and as we wonder together.

It can be a targeted, structured gathering like Navigating GriefLand or Missional Sermon Based Small Groups. It can be more informal, like a Theology on Tap gathering. It can be hands-on work meeting a need, like building a new house or repairing an old one, serving up a hot meal to hungry people or welcoming the stranger by helping new immigrants get settled. 

Community matters. Thriving churches encourage connections, especially between age groups, and connections with people in the community who may share a similar passion.

Incidentally, community also matters for clergy. If you are serving in a church, how do you connect with your own circle of friends? Our upcoming SpiritFlow gathering may be a chance to reconnect with old friends (invite them to meet you there!) and perhaps to meet new ones. 

Who knows? In the words of the movie Casablanca, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”