Aghast in the Grocery Store
by Peggy Haymes, Pinnacle Associate
Introductory note: This has nothing to do with food prices.
I saw the sign from some distance down the aisle:
HOLIDAY DOORMATS!
As I drew closer I expected to see fireworks decorating a welcome mat. It was, after all, the last days of June. I was aghast, shocked and more than a bit disapproving of what I did see:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
They were hopscotching over July Fourth, Halloween and Thanksgiving in favor of Christmas merchandise.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been shocked. I’d had more than one friend on social media cheerfully proclaim, “It’s 6 months to Christmas!”
I am generally not in favor of such observations.
And yet, the season will come. Before we blink it will be time to prepare for it.
This is actually not a story about preparing for Advent. It’s a story of helping people prepare for Advent for whom Advent will be hard.
Maybe it will be their first holiday without their loved one or the first holiday in a shared custody schedule. The first holiday of planning a new place to gather, or of being too far away to gather at all. The first one without the dog’s stocking on the mantle, which is exactly where a family member’s stocking belongs.
It may be the first, or it may be the second. Sometimes the second holiday after a loss can be harder. We prepare for the grief of the first year. Once we get through it, we assume it will be easier the next year. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it takes us by surprise and we find ourselves unprepared for another gut punch of grief.
That’s why the fall is a great time to offer a Navigating Grief group. Some churches are already planning their groups for the fall. After all, it’s that time in the church year when “regular planning” ramps back up. (Blessings upon church staff members for whom summer is anything but slow.)
There’s a more compelling reason to start a group in the fall.
It’s not that participants will be “done” with their grief by the holidays. It won’t magically make the holidays easier. Here’s what it can do:
Help them understand what’s happening, and the fact that it’s happening isn’t a negative statement about them or their faith.
Give them tools to deal with whatever feelings come up during the season, and perhaps even have a plan for navigating the hard days of holidays.
They will be connected to a community who really does understand what it’s like to face familiar holidays when nothing is familiar.
Unsure about offering a group on your own? Consider partnering with another church in your community.
Learn more about Navigating GriefLand here. www.NavigatingGriefLand.com