Don’t Invite New People To Your Church

by Mark Tidsworth, Founder and Team Leader

Until….

Until you are ready to host them.

Otherwise, they will read between the lines, correctly discerning this church either doesn’t care about them, or is unconsciously unwelcoming.

So, let’s do the work to prepare ourselves to be hospitable churches, welcoming more people around God’s table. How do we know we are ready? Compare your church to these five readiness indicators.

Invite others to the table when you are spiritually and relationally ready.

Families in crisis, conflict or with serious illness don’t (typically and generally) invite others over for dinner. Why not? Their energies are focused on resolving the crisis. Ever been to someone’s house for a meal and you can tell they were in a big argument before you arrived? Awkward! Or what about illness? Yes, you have been to someone’s house for a meal and learned while there about the family member who is sick. You leave wondering how soon you will come down with the same illness. Church families are the same way. When crisis, conflict or illness (toxicity) are in play, the church does not have much capacity for inviting guests to the table. In fact, most disciples don’t want others they like or care about to come to the table when the Christian family who eats there is preoccupied with its issues.

When the church family is in crisis, conflict or illness… then do what it takes to clean up the house. Call in a professional cleaning service (consultant) if needed. Do whatever it takes to increase the family’s capacity to make room at the table.

Invite others to the table when you are organizationally prepared for them.

What’s this look like at your house? Vacuuming, turning the blower on the porch and walk, dusting, shoving items into closets, hiding stacks of things you may need but will never actually use? When the house is too cluttered, dirty, or unorganized to have guests for dinner – then we clean it up.

Literally cleaning the facilities is significant and necessary, yet that’s only the most obvious way to prepare for guests. Imagine a church praying for young families to join them, while neglecting to staff their nursery. Imagine this same church with no Bible study classes for children. Imagine any church who has nothing beyond worship for those who are there to “taste and see” who they are as a church. Outward focused churches intentionally prepare for welcoming guests, as caring hosts do.

Invite others to the Table who need what is served at THIS particular table.

This insight requires nuances of understanding. In one way, the same thing is served at every table, since this is Christ’s table. Christ is who and what we find there. In another way, many of us are aware of the tremendous diversity on the Christian Family Tree. Each church expresses itself according to its DNA, personality, early experiences, community context, culture and so on. So, not everyone will find what they need at the table in your house. That’s OK. You are not called to be the family down the street. Be who you are as a church family… because – some people DO NEED what’s at the table in your house. Some people in your community will find Christ through the unique expression of Christ which is your church. Pray, look, search high and low for those people in your community for whom your expression of church helps open the door to God.

Invite others when your church is actively making room for new people.

Do you ask guests to climb the stairs, retrieve the spare chair from under the desk in the bonus room, and then tote it back down to the table? No, we get up and go get a chair for them. We get up and make room. We take the initiative… and this means those of us already at the table have to reorient ourselves. We have to make room in the symbolic sense of that phrase. Our relationship dynamics around the table must change, our roles around the table shift, and the way we pass the food around modifies. When new people come to the table, we intentionally make room… in the fullest meaning of that phrase. Without this welcoming attitude we send the unspoken message that newcomers are unwelcome here. With a hospitable mindset, we actively move over and make room.

Invite new people when we care (love) enough to extend ourselves.

What do they like to eat? Any food allergies? How about their children… do they eat what we eat? No, we don’t literally adjust the elements on the communion table… but we do work hard to help people get to Christ’s table, knowing that if we can help them get there… Christ will meet their needs.

How much room is there at the table?

There’s always room for one more… depending on our preparation. May we do what it takes to prepare our churches for practicing Christian hospitality.