Sustaining Memory
by Bill Ireland
Author’s note: this is the second in a series of articles on Matthew’s account of Jesus’ temptation.
Memory is a fickle thing. Many of us can recall an event that occurred twenty-five years ago in great detail, as if it took place yesterday. At the same time, however, we can have a hard time remembering what we ate for lunch on Tuesday or where the heck we put our keys. Sadly, with the passage of time, some of our memories lose their sharpness and are not as vivid. We can call up the face of a loved one long departed, yet it’s hard to hold those features in our minds. Memory can indeed be fleeting and flimsy.
But sometimes memory is all we’ve got.
In Matthew’s account of Jesus’ baptism and temptation, Jesus experienced both blessing and trial. When Jesus was baptized, he came up out of the water and heard the voice of God: “You are my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” God told Jesus who he was and bestowed divine favor upon Him. As a result, Jesus experienced a palpable sense of God’s nearness and presence. He was immersed in delight.
When Jesus entered the wilderness, however, all that went away, and God was silent. As a result, Jesus faced the onslaughts of the Adversary alone without any word of affirmation or encouragement from heaven. It appears that in this hard moment, Jesus had nothing more than the memory of his baptism to sustain him. As a result, the question lurking beneath the Adversary’s attempts to throw Jesus off track is this: will the memory of that blessing be enough to help him resist the devil’s overtures?
In this respect, we are not all that different from Jesus. Sometimes the only thing we have to lean on in the face of trial or temptation is our remembrance of a significant encounter with the Holy One.
For me, that happened at age fifteen, when I made public my sense of call to the ministry. I well remember the blessings given to me by members of my home church that day. I was bathed in warmth, and the next day, the sky seemed bluer and the grass greener. Everything was more vibrant, more alive than I had ever known. All of those elements confirmed my decision, suggesting that I was indeed on the right track. That moment occurred fifty-two years ago. To be honest, I had no idea what I was getting into by saying “yes” to becoming a minister. I assumed preachers preached, did funerals and weddings, showed up in crises, and visited the sick—that was pretty much the job description. As I began to live into my calling, however, I soon discovered the work required far more than that. Managing systems, overseeing staff, navigating conflict, and providing leadership were also in the mix. Despite the challenges, I have to say the work has been immensely rewarding. The longer I live, the more convinced I am that ministry is indeed my true vocation.
Nevertheless, over the years, I have endured my own times of testing, and at times my faith has been pitifully thin. In those instances, the one thing I longed for was to hear an “atta boy!” from the Lord. Unfortunately, like Jesus, I often heard nothing but silence in return, no token of the Lord’s favor appeared. The only thing I had to lean on was the memory of my call experience and many times that was enough. The indelible memory of that moment frequently carried me as I waded into the ups and downs of ministry. The memory kept me faithful even though there were many times I thought there had to be an easier way to make a living and wanted nothing more than to walk away. The memory reminded me of who I am even when God was all too quiet. In short, the memory sustained me.
Very likely you have a similar memory. Somewhere along the way you encountered God in a way that changed everything for you. Perhaps it was your call to serve. Perhaps it happened when, out of the blue, you were overwhelmed with a sense of God’s presence. Perhaps someone blessed your ministry at just the right time, and you found the strength to keep on. Whatever the shape and content of that transcendent memory, the important thing is to revisit it and keep it alive... to call up what we sensed and experienced in that moment. By doing whatever we can to sustain the memory, the memory will sustain us whenever the Adversary comes our way with temptation and trial. In that moment, we’ll remember who God says we are, and that will be enough.