Darkness Retreat
by Bill Ireland
Author’s note: I have long been fascinated by the accounts of Jesus’ temptation. My teacher, mentor, and friend, Dr. Bob Shurden, first introduced me to these stories and their importance for ministry when I was a student at Mississippi College. Since then, I have had a running conversation with the accounts and believe they speak to some of the deepest realities of faith and ministry. In future articles, I will explore the story of Jesus’ temptation primarily as Matthew relates it.
As I write this, Aaron Rodgers, the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers, is in the midst of a four-day “darkness retreat.” For four days, Rodgers will be confined to a space the size of a dorm room and will be enveloped in darkness for the duration. As a result, he will experience complete sensory deprivation. He has undertaken this ordeal as a means of determining whether to retire from football, remain with the Packers, or seek a trade to another team. I have never heard of a “darkness retreat” until now, and I have to confess I found it rather paradoxical that one had to go into the dark in order to find some light.
Nevertheless, the practice is not without precedent.
Jesus’ temptation is a case in point. After Jesus was baptized and received God’s blessing and affirmation, Matthew, Mark, and Luke tell us that Jesus immediately retreated into the desert and “fasted forty days and forty nights.” Jesus, having just experienced a massive sensory overload—water, the descent of the Spirit, God’s voice—made a journey into the wilderness and essentially cut himself off from all the normal life cues. He entered his own version of a “darkness retreat.” At some point, the Adversary intruded into Jesus’ isolation, and he came for the sole purpose of testing Jesus. He sought to persuade Jesus to pursue his ministry in ways that ran counter to God’s will and the values of the very kingdom Jesus sought to proclaim. We’ll return to the substance of those temptations in future articles, but for now, we can sum up his testing this way: Jesus was tempted to do something good the wrong way. Jesus most wanted to serve God and announce the presence of God’s kingdom. The Adversary sought to turn that very desire against Jesus by asserting that the end justified the means. Jesus, by refusing the Adversary’s suggestions, insisted that how was just as important as what. By entering his own kind of darkness, Jesus found some light and some clarity.
The practice of ministry is not without its own subtle temptations to do something good the wrong way. We can easily slide into giving people what they want rather than what they need. Leaning into people’s desire to “be happy,” offers them a diet of unsatisfying bread. As well, we can buy into our culture’s preoccupation with the sensational and assume that the next service, program, initiative has to be bigger and better than previous efforts. We assume that effective ministry requires that we jump off the pinnacle of the Temple instead of spending time with people who are hurting or whose lives are messed up in countless ways. If we succeed in winning the trust of our people, we can also succumb to the temptation of putting ourselves at the center of the churches we lead. We start, as Paul said, “thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought to think.” As a result, we can get so turned around we exchange our shepherd’s staff for a whip and employ coercion rather than compassion. Naturally, when these kinds of temptations surface, our first instinct is to avoid them at all costs. After all, scripture enjoins us to “flee from every presence of evil. Saying “no” is indeed essential to faithful living. But if those voices persist, we do well to engage them in conversation much as Jesus did. Acknowledging the “dark side” often empties it of its power and can refine our sense of mission. Hopefully, we may come out on the other side as Jesus did—knowing full well who we are and how we are going to do our work.
In our efforts to pursue ministry and to live faithfully, we often overlook the fact that darkness enhances whatever light is already present. Only by having a conversation with the devil do we come to understand both what God is calling us to do and also the best (and right!) way to pursue it.