When You Can’t Get Through the Door
by Peggy Haymes, Pinnacle Associate
A therapist colleague of mine with whom I staffed grief workshops used to say to participants, “If we can’t open the door, we’ll take it off the hinges… or go through a window.”
Her point was there were lots of different ways to help people access the healing that they needed. If one way didn’t work for them there were always other ways to try, other ways to improvise.
I’ve been reminded of her counsel lately, except in this case it’s not that people haven’t been able to use the usual pathway but that they’ve been willing to ask, “What else might we do?”
Charles Qualls, a pastor of a church in Franklin, Virginia, is offering Navigating GriefLand in a retirement community. One woman, hearing about the group from her daughter who saw it on social media, has been driving fifty miles round trip from her rural home in order to participate in the group every week. She's not connected with Qualls’ church or anyone at the retirement home. (You’ll hear more about this experiment later.)
In talking with Kyle Matthews, Minister of Pastoral Care at a church in Greenville, South Carolina, we decided to offer a grief seminar weekend, building on their church’s tradition of a singular fall event. We’d planned for 12-15 participants. A couple of weeks before the event, Matthews called to let me know that fifty people had registered.
They came, were engaged, and we had a deep-hearted, healing conversation about grief.
Just yesterday I received an email from someone asking if there was an online group available. I don't know of one, but perhaps your church has expanded its digital membership and reach and would be interested in this ministry. (If you are, let me know. I know someone who wants to participate.)
It’s easy to get locked into, “This is the way we always do this.” (As a young minister I was chided by some church members for “killing” a visitation program that had produced no visible results in over five years.) Certainly we want to learn from and build upon the things that are working. At the same time our God who is always doing a new thing among us invites us to dream of new possibilities.
How might you minister to and support the people in your congregation, community and within your digital reach who are grieving? Let’s talk about the possibilities.
Incidentally, here’s what one person said about her experience in Navigating GriefLand:
“I just want you to know how much I enjoyed the course & how much it helped me. I am not a fan of support groups nor do I like showing vulnerability. I lost my husband in 2021 & we’d been married 50 years. I just found your course refreshing, honest & uplifting! I was ready for a gut wrenching , “spill all” session & was pleasantly surprised. I just wanted to thank you for your clarity, wisdom & non-judgmental approach to grieving. I think you touch all of us in a variety of ways!”
Learn more about Navigating GriefLand HERE.