Two Ways To Inadvertently Undermine Your Hospitality Ministry

by Rev. Mark E. Tidsworth, Founder and Team Leader

Though there are many ways to do this, here are two high impact approaches for sending the message, “We don’t really want you here.”

Of course, no church (that I know of) wants to send this message to new people. The reverse is our intent, “We really want you here.” But there are realities about hospitality that churches tend to ignore, or perhaps don’t even know, which interfere with their hospitality.

What I’m describing in this brief article is the 80/40 Rule of Thumb.

When the sanctuary or worship center, the place where the church gathers for worship, is 80% full, then it is full in the minds of newcomers. Clearly, there is literal space for more people in these worship spaces. But newcomers, scanning the room for places where they can sit together with their companions, or even a single open spot, will quickly conclude the room is full. In only a matter of seconds, their takeaway from this worship service is….

There’s no room for us here.

Conversely, when people new to worship arrive, observing the worship space is 40% full or less, they come to a different conclusion.

There’s nothing of value happening here.

We might argue (and hopefully it’s true) that there are plenty of vibrant churches whose worship spaces are 40% full or less. I know some of those churches; they do exist. On the other hand, these churches are highly unlikely to gain the opportunity to demonstrate their vitality to newcomers because the newcomers have already decided. “There’s nothing of value happening here.” In their minds, what they observe is a lack of critical mass, people scattered around a large room that feels vacant. Their conclusion is real to them.

Though these percentages, along with their meaning, are simple to understand, they are also challenging to address. The actions needed to solve these dilemmas are also simple and straightforward.

1. When the worship space is approaching 80% full, start another worship service.

2. When the worship space is 40% or less full, move worship to another, more intimate space, in the building.

3. When the worship space is 40% or less full, rope off sections, gathering people into a central section, creating critical mass.

Simple, right? When we start thinking this way, raising these realities to the level of church discussion, our priorities and attachments rise to the surface. Most of us have very strong feelings about the spaces in which we worship. These discussions are best done with careful, respectful, and patient approaches.

Ultimately, when we understand the 80/40 Rule of Thumb, we must wrestle with the fact that we are sending clear messages to guests in our worship services through the way we relate to our worship space. Perhaps we don’t want to be that church who is praying for new people to join them, while unintentionally raising a huge obstacle for that prayer to be affirmatively answered. If we choose not to take action to lower this barrier, then we must live with the awareness that engaging newer persons in the life of our church will be more difficult than it has to be.

One last insight… churches who resolve the 80/40 dilemmas often rejoice on the other side of change. These changes not only open the door to newcomers, but increase the energy and worship experience for those who are already part of these churches. There’s big pay off for everyone involved, new or not.

May God help us find the courage to open the doors to people for whom our churches could help open the doors to God.