Leaving Church For Good Reason
by Mark Tidsworth, Founder and Team Leader
I’m so dang tired of it. And I’m betting you are, too. More stories from the field are of people leaving their churches. The fact that people are leaving churches in droves is disturbing enough, but what really irritates me is why they are leaving. Here’s what we often hear from church leaders when describing the reasons people give for leaving their churches.
Sermons are too long, or my preferred hymns are ignored, or the order of the service changed, or the service times changed… or a myriad of other criticisms regarding the worship service.
The pastor did not and will not take a strong enough stand on (insert any culture war issue, conservative or liberal – does not matter).
The church won’t endorse my political party or candidate.
Disappointment in how Covid was managed in this church.
Willingness of this church to share its building with others rather than remain the sole use of our church members.
Discontinuing my favorite program (though no one participates, including me).
Moving items in the building to other locations in order to create more usable space.
I could go on, but you get the idea. The reasons people articulate for leaving their churches, at least as they state them, seem to be so insignificant compared to the mission and purpose of the church.
So, here are some better reasons to leave church.
What I mean is, I wish churches would function in such a way that the following reasons are those people give when leaving their churches. Sure, some of those above may actually be because of the reasons given below, but we don’t know. Here’s why we hope people would leave their churches (when they are determined to leave).
The way this church describes following Jesus suggests I need to choose loyalty to God over my political party or even this country, and I don’t think God wants that.
This church welcomes people into fellowship that (I believe) need to get themselves together before we welcome them. I don’t come here to be with people like that.
There are people worshiping here who don’t even believe in God. I don’t want to be part of a church who welcomes them in before they repent and turn around.
This church freely talks about money, insinuating that discipleship includes a different relationship with wealth than I’m used to.
This church interacts with and partners with churches from other denominations in our community, watering down our uniqueness and faith.
Following Jesus in the way this church invites me to, is beyond what I signed on for. I want to be a nice, decent person, but forgiving others who really hurt me or loving enemies… that’s extreme.
How might we respond when these are the reasons given for leaving our churches? Well, we might be grateful people are being honest. Even more, we might rejoice that our churches are embodying the gospel of Jesus Christ to the extent that people recognize we are a contrast community. Being Christian in these kinds of churches actually means something; leads to a different way of being in the world. This last set of reasons for leaving churches indicates these churches are pursuing a different way of life, one immersed in the Way of Jesus. People participating with these kinds of churches recognize they will be changed as a result.
Perhaps these last reasons for leaving churches are indirect recognition of robust, life-giving expressions of church. May those who leave our churches do so for these better reasons, because they are called by our churches to live and love like Jesus the Christ.