That’s What Renewal Leave Can Do
Mark Tidsworth, Pinnacle Founder and Team Leader
I’m appreciating your inquiries about my Renewal Leave, July 1-24. Thanks for asking. Your interest prompted me to reflect further on my experience, wondering if there might be insights rising that may help others consider a Renewal Leave or Sabbatical and/or to know what one might expect. This blog post is the outcome of that reflection, an attempt to share what I discovered.
First, allow me to clarify. This was not a Sabbatical, with well-prescribed plans laid out far in advance (no sophisticated Lilly Grant proposal here). This was 24 days set aside for listening, reflecting, praying, reading, roaming the mountains, and traveling with family. I spent more than enough time in silent solitude, enough to make me eager to see people again. I spent much time listening for the still small voice, as well as hearing the voices of spiritual mentors through reading. I spent plenty of time stressing my body through trail running, biking, and hiking, enjoying the endorphin rushes and sweating. I engaged deep conversation with my life partner (spouse) plus time with our young adult kids.
Based on this experience, were you interested in a contemplative oriented Renewal Leave, here’s what you might expect (assuming my experience transfers). This kind of Renewal Leave….
Provides a Detachment Opportunity
When you go on vacation, how many days does it take you to detach and come down from the swirl of work life? For me, and many others I hear from, it takes 3 – 4 days of detaching from work before we actually detach from work. When one has only one week of vacation, that leaves precious few days to rest and enjoy life before having to ramp-up again.
This was the genius of Renewal Leave. Through arranging for coverage in our organization, turning off the notifications on my phone, and intentionally stepping away, I was free to detach from constant work demands without soon ramping up again. In fact, I discovered a new level of tired that would not be addressed otherwise. The deep rest opportunity embedded in this time allowed me to be as tired as I really was without concern. This proved to be healing and renewing to my spirit, body, and mind.
Provides a Detoxing Opportunity
Over time, we inadvertently take on the angst of those we serve as well as the world around us. Most of the time we are completely unaware of the toxicity building in our systems, but when we have a detoxing opportunity, the relief and release confirms toxicity was flowing through our veins.
Years ago I learned about the Inverse Parabola describing what happens during Contemplative Retreats, a downward spiritual and emotional curve, bottoming out, followed by rising again. Through detaching, I definitely experienced that downward journey, resulting in deep fatigue. At my lowest, I spent quite a bit of time experiencing God’s cleansing, intentionally clearing unhelpful thinking and relational patterns. It felt like my systems were being flossed, removing the accumulated plaque.
Sometimes I believe the Catholic Church knows this, regularly inviting people into confession, which is good for the soul. Confession is primarily about God’s grace applied to our sin, yet it’s also one way human beings release toxicity with spoken confirmation that we are cleansed.
As you might guess, this part of Renewal Leave was not so pleasant. The typical defenses against my own self-awareness built into the work-week-swirl were gone, leaving me face to face with myself and my personal stuff. But on this side of it, I’m so grateful for it. If you do a Contemplative Renewal Leave, you too might experience very helpful detoxing, returning a lighter, cleaner, revised, and freshly flossed version of yourself.
Provides a System Reset Opportunity
Moving through the pandemic, with it’s social isolation and strange work rhythms, I adjusted as did others. At the same time, my sleeping, eating, fitness, and other personal rhythms became asynchronous. Through the detaching and detoxing moves described already, I was able to strip away unhelpful rhythms and reset.
In addition to these personal resets, work-detachment allowed me to observe my working rhythms from afar. I recognized the tyranny of the urgent was often driving my daily agenda. I recognized I would often give time to lesser rather than greater priorities. I noticed I was far too engaged with social media, draining energy from the significant for the accessible. This Renewal Leave provided an excellent opportunity for resetting my personal and work rhythms (more on this to come).
Provides a Relationship Renewal Opportunity
Early in our marriage, we recognized the need to engage one another in significant conversation at least every seven days. When we stretch things beyond a week, we grow slightly irritable and less cooperative. We’ve been good about cultivating our connection this way.
So, I was surprised when relational baggage and obstacles arose during Renewal Leave. Again, this happened when I was detached enough to drop my typical defenses and look myself in the eye. Evidently, there were relational concerns we weren’t resolving as we navigated the day to day. The issues that arose were not relationship threatening, yet they seemed quite distressing. Renewal Leave provided the time and emotional space to recognize and resolve unhelpful dynamics in our marriage. This part of the leave was fairly distressing, yet resulted in relationship renewal for us. Now, I’m more grateful than ever for my life partner.
Provides an Opportunity for Listening for Your Calling
One part of my brain wondered if I would still be called to serve through Pinnacle Leadership Associates after this Renewal Leave. I’ve coached so many clergy who discover during sabbaticals that their calling to a particular ministry is completed. I love Pinnacle, having birthed and then developing it since 2008. At the same time, I’ve felt a bit stale and restless over the last two years (along with most everyone else). I honestly wondered if I would hear a call to the pastorate or some other kind of service in God’s vineyard.
Strangely though, when I detached and settled down into listening mode, that deep awareness that’s been there since Pinnacle’s beginning rose again to the surface. Through all the challenges and obstacles, God has consistently confirmed this is my calling. It seems that Pinnacle is the best expression of who I am vocationally. I’m very grateful for God’s clear guidance resulting in vocational clarity, while also wondering how many years it will take to live into the long list of possibilities for Pinnacle resulting from this Renewal Leave! When you engage your Renewal Leave, you will find the opportunity to listen deeply for God’s whispers (or shouts) around your calling – and it will do you good.
Provides an Opportunity to Shift your Leadership
Healthy organizational leadership seems like an exercise in losing control. Pinnacle started with one full timer (me) plus four part timers who were slightly involved. Those first years I provided most of the direct service, without much difference between Pinnacle as an organization and myself (like a new church developer). Now Pinnacle includes 21 Associates, serving at varying levels. Obviously, my role is very different.
Since before the pandemic, we have been working to shift leadership roles, making transitions. Certainly, I’m more of a trainer and coach with our team than the primary direct service provider. At the same time, making these leadership shifts incrementally is difficult as the weekly work flow continues onward. Stepping away through this Renewal Leave allowed and forced me to give over more leadership, in accordance with our growth aspirations.
Now, coming back to work, it’s far easier to restart my leadership in a new way rather than experiencing the binds of the former approach. During your Renewal Leave, you will also experience the opportunity to shift your leadership approach with your organization.
Provides an Opportunity to Return as a Different, Renewed You
I don’t know if others can tell by looking, but I certainly am different on this side of Renewal Leave. My energy is up, my mind is firing with imaginative vision, and my personal and work rhythms are very different.
Perhaps the length of this blog post (exceptionally long) helps communicate the benefits of Renewal Leave. Certainly I understand the hesitation of many to pursue a Renewal Leave. I work in an organization where one’s paycheck directly results from one’s service, so I was clearly convinced Renewal Leave is valuable. I also know what it’s like to have people counting on you. But on this side of the experience, I’m so encouraged I expect to do a version of Renewal Leave next Summer. Yes, it was that life-giving.
Feel free to reach out to me if you want to talk through the possibilities for yourself and need help in communicating with your church or organization.
May we practice effective stewardship of self, personally and vocationally, as we travel onward in the adventure of Jesus.