Coaching as Self-Care
by Robin Sandbothe
When I was first getting acquainted with the idea of life/leadership coaching, I vaguely thought of it as being coached through improving my professional ministry, and that is certainly at least partly true. I have come to find that it is so much more. Through my ten plus years of having a coach and my own training to become a coach through Summit Coach Training, I have learned that a coach helps me find my inner wisdom, helps me discover – for myself – which of the multiple approaches to solving a ministry problem or the multiple possibilities for what’s next professionally or personally is the right choice for me.
What I didn’t at all expect and have come to realize in working with my own coaching clients, is that having a coach is a matter of self-care as well. To have someone who is totally focused on listening to you tell all the thoughts and details of a decision or situation you’re in the middle of is a gift. It is especially true when that person is trained to ask good questions to help draw out of you that which you haven’t even realized you already know.
As a coach, my goal is to listen – that’s foremost in my mind as I meet with a client. Most of the one hour a month that we meet is spent tuned in to what my client is saying. Not even our significant others do that well! It’s a different kind of listening. Certainly, a trained counselor or a pastor counseling a parishioner also spends most of a session listening when helping someone through a psychological, emotional, or spiritual crisis. Ministry colleagues might also listen well and have much to offer by way of commiseration or sharing of ministry experiences. A coach, though, is focused on listening to your hopes and dreams for your ministry, to the stresses you are facing related to your personal and professional life, to your accomplishments and to those things that didn’t go as well as planned. It’s not therapy, but it is certainly a matter of self-care.
After a session of having been coached, I often find I have a new sense of what I need to do next. I have renewed energy for the journey. I am grateful for the time allowed to think through what I’ve been doing and to recognize what went right and what I could do next time that would make something go better – not because my coach has told me these things, but because my coach has asked the questions that have helped to draw those answers out of what I knew already to be true. He has drawn attention to the energy he heard in my voice and saw in my countenance when I talked about certain aspects of my life or work.
I hope I do that same thing for my clients, and I know that it must be true because I can see it in their faces when a new realization dawns or they say, “That’s a really good question,” or they are able to name at the end of a coaching session the things they are taking away from our time together.
I know coaching to be self-care, because – like taking time for a good cup of coffee with a friend, sitting down to read a book from a favorite author, going for a walk, spending time working in my garden – I always look forward to the sessions with my coach.
If the idea of coaching as self-care appeals to you, why don’t you give it a try? Contact me at robinrsandbothe@gmail.com to set up a time for a free coaching call. Taking care of yourself is essential both personally and professionally.