Finding God Amidst the Pain

Rev. Dorothy J. “Dot” Killian, Pastor, Poet, Coach

Last week, I finally got up enough courage to board an airplane again. I hadn’t flown since February 2020. It was not as hard as I had anticipated, but it was a bit unsettling seeing people unmasked in the airport and on the plane.

But the trip was just the beginning. When I reached my destination, I began to see life unfolding in all its beauty and all of its pain. Even as the azaleas greeted me with smiles and waves of welcome, the monuments that I had visited so often as a child standing stately and picturesque, the beautiful cathedral I remembered seeing each time we drove to my Uncle’s beloved Springfield Baptist Church, all brought joy and hope.

Then there was the other reality. Looking into the faces of those whom you hold dear, seeing pain and suffering and disease and aging and dying, I am reminded that all of us are living and dying at once, and that our vantage point determines where we focus our attention. On this day, I choose to cast my eyes and my heart on the presence of God in all things. How could I focus on anything else?

Sitting at the bedside of the dying gives opportunity. This body created in the image of God is as beautiful and as purposeful as it ever was. What was missing was the voice that was always singing and laughing and praising God. Disease has altered the physical appearance but the heart and soul of this precious saint reach out and pull me into a calming and reassuring peace that God is with us in that room. Breathing is labored but faith is unwavering.

Listening to the reports of pain and sleeplessness and agony brought about by the cruel ravages of cancer, there is a moment of silence, a recognition that we are being borne up by an invisible presence, a light, a hope that gives us peace. We don’t speak it but we know it. The presence of the Lord is here.

Aging is not optional. It occurs to the weak and the strong, the rich and the poor. Witnessing the diminishing cognitive and physical abilities first elicit pity, and then, the transformative power of the Holy Spirit creates a vast circle of wonder and awe. How can he still have a smile, a joke, listen to Gladys Knight and the Pips on the radio, watch football and baseball on TV?

He can because despite limitations, he has not forgotten his origins. He, too, remembers that he was created in the image of God, and that nothing can separate him from God’s love through Christ Jesus our Lord.

The preacher has been preached to this weekend. The preacher has heard that the resurrected Jesus is yet working in and through the earth appearing in places of pain and suffering, at the bedside of the dying, in the midst of the aging.

The preacher is grateful.

And the church said, Amen.