Four Steps for Closing the Expectations Gap

by Mark Tidsworth, Team Leader

Okay, leaders have done their best to skirt the issue this fall. Church leaders have tried distracting, shuffling, and ignoring, hoping the disappointment striking themselves and their congregations would melt away.

So far this fall…not happening.

Remember early in the summer when we were so hopeful, daring to believe the pandemic was in its final stages? Then, with a growing painful awareness we realized this fall was not fulfilling our expectations. The pandemic with its dang Delta Variant, along with all the other sorts of volatility swirling in our cultural context, inserted an extreme case of uncertainty into the church mix. The variety of reactions by disciples in churches is staggering, inserting another kind of organizational uncertainty into church life. We’ve tried to avoid acknowledging these realities, while secretly understanding what’s happening.

So what are churches to do? How can leaders lead? Where to from here? Well, I guess not addressing our current situation is an option. Choosing that option will likely lead to less vitality in our churches, not to mention less credibility for church leaders. Instead, here are four sequential steps toward closing the expectations gap.

First, Explain the Collective Disappointment

Disappointment is the gap between expectation and reality.” --John Maxwell

We expected to be “church unleashed” this fall. The reality of this volatile world has pushed us into church adrift, uncertain what worship rhythms and gathering practices are the most fitting. At least back when the pandemic was newer, we were more clear on mitigation approaches. Now, the target is ever-moving. Many churches and their leaders reside in that gap between expectations and reality.

This is the time for leaders to call it as they see it. Describing why we are living with disappointment as our closest friend helps disciples in churches make sense of their experience. Give them a model, diagram, or simply quote John Maxwell’s straightforward sentence. Certainly it takes courage to step out of the cheerleader role and into the truth-teller prophet role. When we do, though, our people breathe a collective sigh of relief, saying to themselves, “Finally someone is telling the truth about what’s happening. Finally our church is helping us make sense of our experience.” Yes, this explanation of the expectations gap is conceptually simple. Simple or not, exercising the courage to explain our collective disappointment greatly helps while increasing leadership credibility.

Second, Identify with the Disappointment

A typically very optimistic coaching client who serves as a pastor asked, “Is this what depression is like?” Significant ongoing disappointment is not clinical depression, yet sure does feel like it. Since much of my interaction is with clergy and church staff, they are often my sample group for what’s happening in church life. From where I sit, they are reflecting the malaise and disappointment of their congregations, wondering if spiritual depression is in the congregational water.

Church leaders who not only explain the disappointment gap, but also identify with it, demonstrate effective leadership. It takes courage to label our experience as disappointing followed by including ourselves as leaders in the experience. Some carry a church leadership self-perception that doesn’t allow for vulnerability or transparency, finding this approach threatening. Stronger leaders recognize the actual strength in truthfulness as opposed to the pseudo-strength of pretension. Owning our own disappointment as leaders right there in the presence of our churches helps everyone move forward.

Third, Call Out Our Faith

All the disciple development activities we’ve done up until this very day have prepared us for the living of these days. All the worship services, Bible studies, summer camp experiences, youth group retreats, online book clubs, missional engagement experiences… the combined effect of years of spiritual cultivation have prepared us for these very moments. Now is the time for living this faith. We need church leaders to remind us of our spiritual agency, springing from the power of God through Jesus Christ.

No doubt church leaders are regularly raising up examples, analogies, metaphors, and stories from scripture to help disciples understand their journey and access spiritual strength. What additional insights might we share that could help call out faith?

  • God knows how to lead God’s people through adversity

  • God’s people have navigated rough seas many times

  • God understands what it’s like to be disappointed with the world

  • There are many examples of disappointed people in the Bible who looked to God’s sustaining power

We need church leaders to situate us right there in the story of God, calling out our faith, helping us claim our discipleship while living into our identity as Christ followers.

Fourth, Reset Expectations

God’s mission goes on. Our calling to love God, others, and self with all our being is not paused during seasons of volatility. What’s different during seasons of volatility is our approach to God’s calling for us. Resetting expectations may be identifying an actionable plan for your church’s focus from now through December 31. This is not the time to pursue complexity, but rather a straightforward approach to being church together.

Surprisingly, we’ve heard glowing reports of churches who are addressing tangible needs, like

  • Replacing stained glass windows in the sanctuary

  • Launching and completing a capital campaign

  • Partnering with other community organizations to build new transitional housing for persons recently released from prison

  • Cleaning the church building from top to bottom

Rather than inadvertently allowing our congregations to swim in the sea of uncertainty, let’s guide them toward specific, tangible, actionable ministry. Accomplishing these kinds of ministries meets specific needs, while reminding us we are God’s church who is on the move.