A Pastor's Tale

by Eric Spivey, Associate

I’m a pastor. I’m also a Pinnacle Leadership Associate. I’ve stopped writing. I’m wondering why.

Mark Tidsworth, our illustrious leader here at PLA, needs our Associates to write monthly articles and blog posts about life in today’s church. He needs well written articles to make pastors and leaders think with ideas and wisdom to guide us through the choppy ministry waters in 2021. Yet, when I sit down at a computer to write when he needs me to write … I get nothing! Complete block. Why is this?

I write every week in my work as pastor. I research, pray through and write weekly sermons. I study and prepare weekly Bible studies. I author articles for our monthly newsletter; I send pastoral letters to our church on a regular basis; and I even pen numerous daily emails, vision plans and thoughts. I’m writing every week from my corner of Gainesville, Florida, to the people in this place.

Yet, when it comes time to writing for a broader audience – beyond my people at our church, my brain and fingers shut down.

I’ve notice recently I have also stopped writing and posting on social media. I infrequently post pictures of our family and events at our church. That’s it. I’ve stopped sharing my life and my ideas with those outside of my life. Which makes me wonder, are these things connected?

Does my writer’s block for Pinnacle articles have anything to do with a narrowing of my life? Am I closing my circles intentionally and does that have anything to do with my writing for PLA? I don’t know.

To write for the broader world means to intentionally insert yourself into the bombastic stream of public life. I have learned there are those of us who excel at this writing and thrive in this environment and those who do not. Maybe this harsh writing world plays a part in my hesitancy.

Or maybe it has to do with knowing in the present ministry environment there are no experts. At Pinnacle Leadership Associates, we do incredible work by walking with pastors and congregations as they discover God’s vision for their church. We are experts at process and guide churches and leaders further along the journey of living into God’s journey and doing good ministry. We have amazing content we teach each week. I’m always amazed at what the good folks at PLA do day in and day out to strengthen God’s kingdom one pastor and church at a time.

Yet, when it comes to drafting an article which offers a lesson someone can use in their church – I am aware I am no expert. I’m a fellow companion, a coach, and a friend. I am still trying to figure out how to do worship, discipleship, missions, fellowship, and leadership in the 2020’s. I don’t have “5 Steps Toward Revitalizing…” anything in me. I wish I did. Those lists are click bait!

Maybe that’s why I’m having such a tough time writing articles. I expect myself to write articles for other pastors and leaders as someone who has something important or profound or expert to say or deliver.

Instead, maybe what needs to be said is simply, we are all in this together - each pastor, deacon, elder, sacred partner, and church. We need each other to tell our stories about how hard it is to do ministry and church life. We need to know we are not alone. Instead of writing as a Pinnacle Associate full of the wisdom the title represents, I think I will simply write as Eric, a pastor trying to figure it out. And maybe as I figure some things out – like why I hate writing PLA articles - my words may help you figure it out, too.

So here it is, Mark! My first Pinnacle Leadership Associates newsletter/blog post in over a year. Maybe I might find something else to say before the year is done.