Ministry in the Midst of Life
by John Daugherty
Sometimes life comes at us pretty hard adding to an already full plate for servants of the church. Pastors and staff are expected to “soldier on” and be a steady presence in the lives of their church disciples. It can be difficult, at times, for many who find themselves with their own pains, challenges, losses and heart break.
Jesus promised a peace not of this world. He whose heart had to have been broken with the loss of friends, and the misunderstanding of his own family and close friends, offered comfort to his followers. “Do not let your hearts be troubled,” he encouraged his closest companions in preparation for his own sacrifice and departure. (John 14:1, NIV)
But how do we tap into that? How do we find the strength and courage to “soldier on” in the midst of one’s own pain? Those serving in ministry of a certain age are often caught in what is called the “sandwich generation,” with young adult children and aging parents requiring more and more of one’s attention and assistance. At the same time they are trying to attend to much needed self-care while being attentive and caring for the “flock.”
What did Jesus do? We know it was a practice for him to step aside and spend alone time in prayer and quiet. He made provisions for the care of his own mother. He spent time with friends. He lovingly offered peace, grace and wholeness. Self-care is essential and is very closely related to attending to one’s own spiritual health.
Pinnacle Leadership Associates is planning the next round of Clergy Collective for next Fall, and among the options is Clergy Health and a Pastor-life Series, Courageous Conversations. For me personally in my own years of active ministry, before and in retirement, having connections with colleagues and friends who help me stay focused and attend to my self-care and development were, and continue to be essential for my health and for allowing me to be the best I can be when guiding and working with disciples for whom I care and with whom I serve.
Henri Nouwen wrote, “Nobody escapes being wounded. We are all wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not, ‘How can we hide our wounds?’ so we don’t have to be embarrassed, but ‘How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?’ When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.”
It is often hard for clergy and spiritual leaders to expose their own wounds for others to see. In reality the authenticity and rawness of being wounded and broken often invites others to begin to experience healing as well. Clergy need to find those safe people and places to become vulnerable in being authentic, open and honest. Clergy coaching, spiritual counselors or guides, trusted colleagues and friends are resources for clergy health and growth.
Jesus promised, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27 NIV)
Be of good courage, find the safe people and places, and lead from your own heart and healing.