Recommend Your Church?
Mark Tidsworth, Pinnacle Team Leader
Do you?
Sometimes one small, simple question elicits so much insight into how we are church together. The vast majority of people who visit a church and its worship service for the first time do so because someone they know invited them (86% of first time worshipers). Larry Osborne, a pastor of a large multisite Southern California church reminds us, “What matters is not the size of the church or the slickness of the programming. What matters is that those who come find a ministry and relationships worthy of spontaneous word-of-mouth recommendations” (Sticky Church, p.28). Given this, whether we are recommending our church to others makes an obvious difference, along with revealing much about ourselves and our churches. By drilling down into the answers we give to this simple question we gain great insight into how we are currently being church.
There are basically two answers to the question of whether we are recommending our church: yes or no. Sure there are nuances and variations of each of these answers, yet each trends toward one or the other. What might the answers mean for us? What guidance do they give about being church?
When Our Answer Is Yes
There are variations and nuances to this answer. Those who’s “yes” means often and frequently are those who will tell us much about our strengths as a church. Others may answer “yes” under certain conditions or in special instances. These disciples also have much to tell us. So, any form of the answer “yes” can be debriefed with the following question.
What is it about your church that encourages you to recommend it? What might that mean about your church?
What do you tend to say to others when you are recommending your church? What might that mean about your church?
What might it mean about your faith journey that you find yourself recommending your church? What might that mean about you?
What is it you hope others will experience when they take you up on your recommendation?
How can you help others in your church learn to recommend it to others?
How can you give feedback to your church leadership about what’s good and healthy in your church; about what you recommend to people you know?
NOTE: Rather than focusing on what’s not working so well, we learn far more about what TO DO when we drill down into the “yes” answers. Focus your time and energy here and you’ll learn more about who you are, about your gifts, and about your specific calling in God’s kingdom.
When Our Answer Is No
This “no” answer has many shades of meaning also. Some disciples intend to recommend their church, but never get around to doing so. Their’s is a “no” answer. Others intentionally avoid recommending their church, clearly aware of their reluctance. Others simply don’t even think this way, forgetting they are part of the missional ministry of their churches. When the answer is any form of “no” we can drill down with these questions.
What gets in the way for you?
What is it about your church that you don’t want people you know to experience? What might this mean about your church?
What is it about your specific faith journey that you don’t recommend your church? What might this mean about you?
If you could make your church more “recommendable,” what would you change?
What might your church stop doing that would open the door for you to recommend?
Rather than leave your church, what might be God’s purpose for you in your church?
How might you engage church leaders around the insights rising from your “no” answer?
Who would have thought we could learn so much by simply debriefing our answers about recommending our churches? Give it a go. Engage one another around this question, with open hearts and open minds, listening for the Spirit’s whisper in the dialogue.